Rickmansworth Drop it Like its Hot

The midday air was fresh, the mood jovial and the pies warm as Rickmansworth players milled about the Rickmansworth club prior to the journey to West Herts. The caravan of cars making the arduous 10 minute journey to West Herts was reminiscent of great trader caravans trudging along the Silk Road of West Asia. Like those merchants, Rickmansworth were hoping to ply their trade in new surroundings. The comparisons did not stop there; as the team inspected the pitch to discover the Silk Road of West Herts, a barren and dusty plain that would hold fortune for one team but desolation for the other.

The intensity of the West Herts warm up lap was too much for some as Curly was required to take a breather as he came to terms with why a team would do a warm up lap before a game of cricket.

“It’s just not cricket” he could be heard explaining to an also aggrieved Michael Horwood. Curly’s own preparation had included 10 pints of Becks, 3 shots of Sambuca and 0 winners the day before at the Goodwood Races.

A cheesy smile could be seen stretching across Benn Glazier’s face as the skipper told him he had won the toss. His hair, freshly greased, glistened in the early afternoon sun as he and Ajay Thakur strode to the crease. Beautiful stroke play by both batsmen, some as deft as a conductors baton others as bludgeoning as a caveman’s club, saw us off to a solid start. Before a solid impromptu BBQ by Glazier left Ajay scrambling for the strikers end and was comprehensively short of his ground. Another partnership looked to be underway before Glazier edged behind for a well-constructed 30. This wicket was shortly followed by Rory Bennett who claimed to have been put off by a bird shitting on the pitch before caressing one back into the bowlers outstretched mitt.

Another partnership was again forming between Marty Jaynes and The Funge, who were both batting excellently and looked to have the opposition on the back foot, before a leading edge that travelled so high it made the radar tracking at nearby airports was held by the opposition. Matt Funge, who recently swept the floor at the local best surname awards, walked off disappointed for 24.

Annoying partnerships appeared to be the order of the day as no sooner had they started to form they were vanquished as was the case with both Marc Robinson and Jason Phillipson, the latter only halted by the end of the innings which concluded at 207 after 53 overs.

The mainstay of the the innings was Marty who ended up with 77* to continue his swashbuckling form. A brilliant knock and also good to see other contributions along the way.

A solid tea was only given a 6.3 from the Russian judge Phil Riddleston, possibly still aggrieved at his teams exclusion from Rio.

With proceedings underway West Herts looked to be off to solid start before an awkwardly average LBW decision and another wicket to Jason Phillipson looked to have the tide turning. Especially as one of the batsmen appeared, from the volume of heaves and misses, he might be better value to the team by stepping on his stumps to get the next man in. This was not aided by several Ricky players, attempting their best Snoop Dogg impersonations and dropping it like it was hot, despite it only being mild to lukewarm. The sheer quantity of dropped catches was enough to make the eyes water. Babies could be heard crying on the sidelines. In the distance, sirens. For the calamity that was unfolding was an abhorrent abomination. Despite this, West Herts sluggish scoring rate left them with an imposing chase of 100 off the final 15 overs. However, with wickets in hand they showed their intent swinging the willow and putting pressure on the field.

Finally, amongst the darkness and chaos a beacon of light shone, Zaf Shah, and a catch at square leg held. A juxtaposition that can only be compared to Frodo treading through the fiery pits of Mordor. Alongside him stood Sam as The Funge took another catch to keep the pressure on the home side. As Rickmansworth continue to leak more runs than a ship sailing from North Africa, West Herts drew ever closer until 3 runs were required off the final over of the game. However, a young, 14 year old Sauron dispatched Bennett over square leg for 4 to secure victory for the forces of evil (West Herts) and will undoubtedly lead to the destruction of Middle Earth. Until next week.

Cheers and Beers

(Submitted by Rory Bennett)